At first interaction, Molly Peckler feels like a quintessential Midwest sweetheart. Her personality is bubbly and excitable, as her long brown hair drapes neatly over her shoulders. Molly and I connected for our interview a few months after having met in Los Angeles. She was one of two experts being interviewed for a panel I was moderating for the cannabis company Dosist on how to harness the power of plants to elevate your sex life. It doesn’t take long to realize that Molly is much more complex than what her Midwestern roots let on.
Molly started the company Highly Devoted, the world’s first cannabis-friendly matchmaking service. Molly is also a lifestyle consultant and career coach who dedicates a lot of her time and energy toward redefining the traditional stoner stigma. For our conversation, Molly chats with me from her home in Los Angeles, a city she relocated to after many years in Chicago.
At the beginning of our conversation, I ask Molly how she entered the world of matchmaking. Molly exclaims, “It really came out of left field for me. I have a degree in psychology and so I’ve always been very curious about the rationale behind people’s actions and decisions and I’ve just had a knack ever since I can remember for really understanding how men and women think, how they differ, and how to bridge that gap.”
Based on what I hear, I am curious to know about Molly’s relationship to dating and finding a match that was good for her. She reflects on having a long-term boyfriend in high school while being ridden with the type of insecurity that so often comes with being a teenager. When Molly went to college, she recognized that she had the ability to “reinvent [herself] and stop worrying what other people thought.” She spent the first few years of college playing the field until she met her now husband during her senior year of college. It has been 12 years since that initial interaction and “smoke sesh.” Molly states, “When it comes to serious relationships, I’m pretty much batting a thousand [in my own relationship]. So, I know this is something I’m pretty good at.”
As Molly has been responsible for setting up many successful partnerships, she has a keen understanding of finding what is important to create a long-lasting relationship. She notes:
“It’s really important to be on the same page throughout your relationship when it comes to your core values because that is what I have found is your crystal ball. That’s how you can [recognize that] we’re going to go through a lot together and we’re going to change and grow and have different experiences. But if we see the world in the same way, if we prioritize things in the same way, if we want the same things out of life, the same things are important to us, then you’re walking on the path together. You’re going to go down the same path instead of veering off. So really focus and hone in on those core values. Understand what makes you, you and how you make decisions and make sure you find that in a partner. If you have that in common, you are way ahead of the game.”
Molly goes on to share that even though she always knew she was in the right field of work, she hasn’t always been aligned with her work environments or the people that she has worked for. At the first matchmaking firm she worked at in Chicago, she remembers being very focused on trying to “please everyone at the company,” which often led to “situations where I wasn’t really being myself and I felt myself being fake.” [She realized] she was “trying to make someone, in particular, feel really good about themselves so that they would like me. And it always put a really bad taste in my mouth. I was like ‘okay, I have to do this because this is going to be helpful for my career.’” What Molly would learn in a short period of time is that her managers didn’t respect or appreciate her, and she would spend a lot of her time at work being a fake version of herself. Molly states,
“I hate being fake. I hate B.S. I’m a straight shooter . . . It was becoming so emotionally exhausting for me to pretend. And so, I would go home and sob and be so sad and be like, ‘This is not being true to myself. This is not who I am.’ And again, the idea of not being appreciated and having to pretend that I’m happy at work, and that I’m fulfilled while trying to get of there . . . It took a pretty big toll on me. But when I finally made that decision—‘It’s okay if I take a pay cut. It’s okay if I maybe take a step back in terms of the trajectory that I’m on just so I can get on another path and do something that really fulfills me’—it was like a huge weight had come off my shoulders.”
Being the pistol that Molly is, this didn’t last for long—she had a commitment to be in alignment with her highest self and her self-worth. It was at this point in time in 2014 that Molly took a leap of faith and joined the budding cannabis industry. She notes,
“You know, I’m certainly not your prototypical stoner. I love cannabis and I feel like it truly makes me the best version of myself, but I’m not getting high and sitting on the couch and eating and watching Netflix.”
Molly goes on to note a few of the amazing impacts of cannabis that can include: 1) supporting and stabilizing mood, 2) boosting appetite, 3) encouraging connection and forging bonds, and 4) increasing intimacy. After a year of working in the field, she felt inspired to create a company that combined her two passions and areas of expertise: matchmaking and cannabis. Highly Devoted was born out of this inspiration in 2015.
Toward the end of our conversation, Molly and I discuss how to measure one’s value and determine what richness means individually to each of us. That for so many of us, it’s not that we are afraid of our darkness—but actually our brightness. We are all capable far beyond what we allow ourselves to believe because we get trapped in fear. Molly notes:
“I think it all boils down to fear. Fear is what gets in the way of everything . . . If you can truly be yourself, if you don’t have to wear that mask, don’t have to pretend to be something that you’re not—you open yourself up to all the opportunities that are in front of you instead of just focusing on keeping that mask up and making sure [that] you’re not getting found out. That allows so much more energy and focus to go into following your passion and doing what you love and allowing the money to come that way.”
Molly and I finish our interview with me asking her to share how cannabis has helped support her in listening to her inner guidance and intuition. Molly responds,
“When it comes to tapping into your intuition, I think that [the] number one most important thing to focus on is moving your ego to the back burner. Because if your ego is not getting in the way . . . you can really understand what you truly want and the things that make you truly happy. And that is one of the most powerful effects of cannabis. I’m a much more logical, rational thinker—I’m less reactive to my emotions and my ego. It really recedes when I use cannabis . . . I think number one, most importantly at the foundation of everything is that cannabis allows me to anchor myself in the moment . . . All of these incredible things will come out. You will tap into such intuition that you never heard. I feel like [cannabis] really does amplify your inner voice.”
Molly Peckler of Highly Devoted is the world’s first cannabis-friendly matchmaker, lifestyle consultant, and career coach. Molly dedicates her practice to cannabis consumers who defy the stoner stigma. She focuses on helping cannabis consumers gain confidence, pursue their passions in the growing cannabis industry, or find love with a partner who appreciates cannabis in a relationship.
